Sunday, April 4, 2010

Babies, A Career... or both?

So about 9 months ago I ran into an old mate from Wesley Girls' High School (yup, I'm a proud Debu!). We were in the same dormitory. She was an arts student and I a science student. We also went to the same university (KNUST).

Anway, so I ran into her one night at Queen's Gate (former Funkies). I saw her initially from a distance but didn't recognise her. Maybe it was the large, heavy extended load she was carrying infront of her. It wasn't until she called out to me that I made a double take and took a closer look. She was heavily pregnant; twice as large as I had known her to be, with swollen feet and out of breath. I was stunned. It took me a couple of minutes to take it all in and get myself to speak. A very awkward few minutes believe me! All I could say when I finally opened my mouth was, 'Wow!'. We then attempted to hug, but all I got was a firm belly. Lol. As if seeing her in that state wasn't enough; she then pulled on the arm of a young gentleman from behind her and introduced him as her husband. We then exchanged pleasantries and numbers and promised to stay in touch. I had friends waiting for me in the car and so had to leave

The 10 minute encounter with my dear friend from WGHS and KNUST though brief stayed with me the rest of the night and indeed for the next week or so. It really set me thinking. I kept asking myself if I was missing something. Here was I at 24, a month out of university and with only a 'paper' as proof of a degree I had attained there as all I had to my name. What immediate plans did I have for myself now that i was done with my first degree? Marriage? Kids? Boyfriend-Potential-Husband hunt? Nope. None of them. I was going back to school for more papers. Lol. I was planning out my career. What degrees I needed, where I wanted to work after that. How come the husband and babies thing wasn't even remotely part of my immediate plan like most others? Could it be the 'book-long' family I came from? The fact that I was from a family of which none of us children were married? Perhaps.

Then again, I asked myself whether there was anything wrong with my future goals. After all, I was only a few months from 25. Was I going to allow the Ghanaian mentality of finish-a-first-degree-and-almost-immediately-get-married-and-pop-babies-quick to affect me? Yesss, I know my biological clock is ticking; and its been medically proven that it is best to have your kids in the early 20's; less health related problems for both mother and child. But hey, we're in the 21st century right? Times have changed. Due to the current economic situation its imperative that one has at least a first degree and besides there is better health care and technology. Women are having kids at 40 and they and their kids are fine!

Then the question to is, can't I have both? Great career life and family life? Is that a possibility?Well, for my part of the world; a woman's destiny is never in her own hands, but in the hands of her husband. Many a times if she hasn't already attained her dreams she is expected to sacrifice them for the sake of her man's and her family. Now, I'm not much of a feminist but when you think about it, it really isn't fair at all. We should be entitled to follow our dreams to but hey; unfortunately, it don't quite work that way.

Don't get me wrong though. I love kids and would definitely want to have some of my own some day. Not only that, but I want to be the perfect, ideal wife with a lovely, loving husband who is as ambitious as me and who will support me and my goals, encouraging me for more, bigger and better. I want a family. Definitely, no doubt about that, but I want a great career to; making it a tad bit harder. So then I think it better to at least clear the acquisition of the 'papers' as quickly as possible; hopefully, meet someone in the process; then start the married life while getting a job and starting out on that career. Or something like that. I'm not quite sure how its going to play out, but I'm convinced it will. Somehow.

So, verdict is; I'm going for both babies and a great career. I don't know when, I don't know how. My plan only covers the 'paper' aspect of things. I don't know how to merge the two, but I know it's possible. It has been done before. Reach it I will.

1 comment:

  1. hear! hear!! Tis a noble direction you have chosen, albeit one so often misconstrued and less appreciated in this seemingly man's world. Tis risky if I may say so; this risk borne of many a man's fear of the educated woman and the inherent issues of who controls what.. but nonetheless I think a highly educated and successful woman is of more value than an army of men! (lol)

    In your quest for knowledge make many friends; and am sure in that crowd you will find the man who understands you and appreciates you just the way you are.

    ALL THE BEST!!!!! (herh, this comment is personal papa!!, lol)